Week 22, Day 1 (These feet are made for walloping)

I'm beginning to think I should swallow a tennis ball so Taddy can (for a change) practice bouncing that against my insides and catching it. Imagine being cooped up in something about a fifth of the size (in ratio if not in other ways!) of the average toilet, for 3/4 of a year. You'd go postal - well, at least I would!

According to the books, Taddy is supposed to be sleeping 90% of the day.

Yeah RIGHT. So he kicks a hell of a lot in his sleep, does he? And responds to tapping games in his sleep? No way. This kid is awake and bored for at least 40% of any given day, and at least three days out of seven he's quite active and interactive for more than half the day and a goodly percentage of the night.

I actually get a bit tired of it.. don't tell anyone I said that, but it's true. I chide myself for feeling weary when he's given the old 'one two' to the cervix for an hour straight, but while it IS wonderful, marvelous, magical to feel a life form bouncing away happily inside me, you can get a bit sore after a while.

What I want to know, is when he knows his Dad is going to have a laying on of hands, and that this is the time to have a breather, only to start up again within ten seconds of Dad deciding that kidlet isn't going to give him a boot tonight. Wayne's only had two clear kicks in the last seven weeks, yet he's tried many times to up that tally.

But according to the books babies don't really have functioning brains at this point.

(One two three, with me now... "Yeah RIGHT!")

I tell myself that he won't kick forever. One of these days he's going to (hopefully!) be a healthy, delivered full term baby and I won't ever feel kicks inside again. So enjoy it while it lasts, you ninny.

Then the little bruiser starts in again on the bladder or the cervix, and you feel like grabbing your partner by the short and curlies, and dragging him off to the bedroom growling "Come on, let's give your son a blimmin' headache!"

Now that's a fantasy the books don't talk about ;-)