Week 33, Day 6 (Feed me, Seymour!!)

(I love that line from "Little Shop of Horrors", and sometimes I wonder if I'm carrying Audrey II behind my belly button..)

Yesterday I learned the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and the first stage of the real thing. It's similar to the difference between a bicycle and a motorbike.

(Stop panicking, Mother.. I can hear your palpitations from here, but everything's cool, settle down.)

What brought this on, might you ask. Three factors, really. Mother Nature likes to forewarn impending mothers, apparently, with a few dummy runs. Then you've got a couple of hours of tantrums from a hungry foetus whose mother skipped breakfast. Finally ... well let's just say we got sick of waiting for six weeks post-birth, and leave it at that (grins cheekily).

Among all the BH's and boots/punches from a grumbly baby, I was suddenly gripped by a very tight and moderately painful squeeze that went quite some way past the worst I'd ever encountered before. On the pain scale, I'd give it about a 3, maybe a 3.5 at its peak.

Tolerable, sure, but quite surprising. I'm glad I wasn't driving at the time or ... Wayne carried on nattering away to me (he *was* driving, LOL), and didn't realise til I grunted some kind of breathless reply that maybe I had something on my mind.

He became quite concerned when (afterwards) I explained what I'd had, and took some reassuring that baby was definitely not on the way just yet. Both midwives have told me that the best barometer is my body - when bubs is on his way, the body will TELL me in terms I can't ignore. This was just a practice shot, and by itself was nothing to fluff over.

Once it was all over, it was time to analyse and interpret. I remembered being very surprised that there seemed to be no beginning to the Bell Curve, ie, no build up, just "wham" all of a sudden, building to a quick peak, holding there for about 20 seconds, then gradually tapering off.

Halfway through the peak, I remembered that I was supposed to practice breathing through these things, NOT holding my breath, so got the old respiratory system cranked into gear again. Did a few exploratory taps on the belly to see where and how hard it was, and I swear I heard the solid thunk of an overinflated basketball ;-)

So that's a contraction, eh? I had another one about an hour later, just the bod's way of letting me know I hadn't imagined the first one. Not so bad. Not something I'd want to have going on for a week or anything, but I can deal with this. More bloody relentless than actually painful, I think. I think being immersed in warm water would make it much more bearable, if we're talking a lengthy first stage.

Ironically, baby stopped booting me around while it happened, but after a few minutes to catch HIS breath as well, he started up again with a vengeance.

So much for the info that "babies in the last six weeks aren't very active, as there's not enough room to kick!".

Phooey.. this kid makes room, and bugger the consequences.

Rib? We don't need no stinking ribs...

Nothing for it but to call into the nearest Subway and shove six inches of crunchy goodness down my gullet asap. It's not so easy eating when your internal bruiser pallooser wants to play Bungy Sandwich with your stomach.

Once the food rush hit His Lordship, he shut up and enjoyed the ride. Just a few more nudges to say "keep it coming, wench", but afterwards he drifted off to sleep pdq. Guess what.. so did the BH's and in very short order, so did the incubator.

Very handy, these wee indications that give me some warning of what to expect once he's in the world. Hmm.. likes his creature comforts, gets cranky when he's hungry but easily pacified once fed, loves music and car travel.

Heh heh.. look out Wayne, this kid's more like his mother than his father, so far ;-)