These are a few of my favourite things

Prospective parents are inundated with gadgets, fripperies and a truly frightening array of objects that are touted as "must haves" by a variety of authorities.

I would not presume to tell another mother (ROTFLOLPRDML!) what to put on her wish list, but here are a few things that I could not now bear to be without.

Number 1 at the list would have to be the Karitane nurse (but I'll get to that later, LOL)

Other (unranked) much loved essentials are as follows:
* Breathing monitor
* All terrain buggy with a coffee holder
* Swinging bouncinette
* A couple of dozen muslin wipes I ran up in a brief stint with the overlocker
* Hand sanitiser by the changing table (saves leaving baby to wash hands, yet allows you to be safe with hygiene)
* A deep car boot that is perfect for changing naps no matter where you go (private, safe, extremely handy)
* Old cloth nappies (every day I seem to find a new clever use, ie two doubled under baby's bum in the cot means you only have to wash your cot sheets twice a week on average - yeah, my kid wriggles that much!)
* Manual breast pump
* Electric steam steriliser (even if you 100% breastfeed, you're going to need to sterilise something each day, even if it's just your pump. Wash the item, rinse any suds, then pop in the steriliser with a bit of water, click the button and get on with your life. No tablets, no nasty aftertaste, no buckets of soaky things. Too damn cool, Batman!)

Anyhoo, you're probably more interested in what the Karitane nurse said and being as astute as you are, you have no doubt detected the note of desperation has left my posting, and I'm feeling a helluva lot more in control of my lot!

In case you didn't know, it's not a guarantee that new parents get a visit from a Karitane nurse. We only saw one because at the first meeting with our Plunket nurse (at six weeks post partum), we discussed Braeden's sleeping (or lack thereof) and she suggested a home visit from the lovely Rosalie.

I would like to float the idea that new parents grab their nearest health professional and somehow get an appointment with a Karitane nurse within the first two weeks of coming home with their baby. To think, Braeden and his parents could have had a much easier time of the last six weeks, if only we'd known! It seems we had the right idea, but needed some tweaking in a couple of directions.

This was my usual day pre-Karitane:
Midnight: (ish.. everything is ish because Braeden called the shots)
Feed baby, try to keep him awake until full. Pop in bed once utterly "starfish" (parents will know what I mean)

3am: Feed baby, coax him back to bed. Can be quick (take an hour all up) or very long (worst went through to 10am the next day).

5.30am: Start of baby's monster feed marathon, with hungry impatient baby gobbling frantically, and then of course upchucking everything, every half hour or so.

9.30 - 10.30am. Baby falls asleep in bouncinette (probably in exhaustion, and often mid-chuck). Despite mother promising herself she'd go to sleep too, instead the stupid woman flies around the house in a panic, getting the urgent jobs done in the 1-3 hours she might (if she's lucky) get before the beloved tyrant wakes again.

1pm: Baby wakes in high dudgeon. Mother lets lunch go uneaten while she feeds, comforts and otherwise cuddles baby almost without break until .....

4-8pm: Arsenic hour. Baby has continuous meltdowns due largely in part because he would NOT sleep in the afternoon, 9 days out of 10.

8-9pm: Baby falls asleep on mother who won't put him to bed because at least on her he's sleeping. Father gets annoyed with mother not eating her dinner until it's cold, and wonders why the baby is such a pain in the ass, and how much longer before some sanity returns? Mother feels defensive and snippy - she's doing her best and still she's exhausted, little time for husband, no time for friends or family (too tired to think much less converse) and wonders how the hell she can even think about going back to work. Consumed by duty and love, she puts the kid first, last and in the middle and everyone else can go (rude word) themselves.

(and then it all starts again)

Btw, that was a fairly good day. There have been many that were much worse, ie Braeden sleeping six hours out of 24.

Anyhoo, that was then. I know it's only been nine hours since Rosalie visited, but in that time Braeden has had two excellent sleeps, and in fact, he's still in the throes of sleep #2. Such is his slumber that I had to creep in and put my hand in front of his face, just in case the breathing monitor was malfunctioning.

After observing us, Rosalie made some suggestions that helped turn things around quite dramatically.

First, take the castors off the foot of the cot, ie, cause the cot to tilt upwards. (Helps a spitty baby be more comfortable and less spilly)

Wrap baby in a cot sheet, not a bunny rug or nappy, because a big strong baby can break free of these. Not all kids like to be wrapped, but whaddya know.. ours loves it.

That's not a bored cry, Mum, that's "I'm getting tired". Yeah it sounds like his bored cry, but look at those hands.. see the jerks? Time for bed.

When put to bed, tuck in really REALLY firmly. Pat tummy rhythmically, say next to nothing, but make smiley eye contact and be prepared to hang around for a while.

When baby cries, offer dummy. If cries escalate into meltdown, pick up, cuddle, then replace when you think baby is "over" the heartbreak. Remember if baby is hungry, he's not going to sleep (ditto wet). Fix what needs fixing, in the bedroom if possible.

Repeat the last step (but don't overfeed, natch!) as often as necessary, with the mindset that you'll take as long as you need to take so it takes less long next time (horsey folk recognise this from the Parelli technique!)

Leave when baby asleep, and return if baby wakes and cries. Don't leave baby to cry unnecessarily because you want them to feel reassured that you will return. Secure babies sleep better than frightened (Kaz Cooke would say "Ferberised!") babies.

Damn it's simple.. It's so very close to what we were doing, but it added the confidence that I lacked to feel I *could* get baby to sleep in his bed, at appropriate times. Rosalie was very kind to say that our diligence last night (the loooong stint of tag teaming) laid the ground work for this afternoon's lessons to "take" so well.

When Braeden woke at 6pm, I was so damn pleased to see him I nearly kissed his cheeks off. He was pretty grumpy at first but had a good feed of Mum and then bottles, with the other two suggestions in play (roll up a facecloth and position it under the boob if you're extra buxom - better positioning for baby- and give the Infant Gaviscon one more go).

By 7.15 Braeden was back in bed after dinner, bath and naps-off play in front of the fire. Yeah, a fire on the last day of November, weird or what!

He went off to sleep immediately, woke twice in horror to discover his predicament (bed? How bloody RUDE!), but after cuddles of less than five minutes each, was soon back to sleep. By 7.30 he was totally out to it, and there he remains.

For the first time since our son came home from the hospital, Wayne and I got to share a meal together, ie both actually eating at the same time.

Please tell me I'm not dreaming?