Double standards

Do as I say, not as I do.. and all that jazz.

Funny how many perceptions shift when you have a sprog of your own. I truly thought I'd be a much more authoritarian mother (just ask my dogs). Loving, but quite quite firm.

Hah. Bally hahahahahaha, in fact. See that rib I just busted from laughing?

I'm not yet a complete pushover, but give me time. Part of this is because the apple of my eye did not fall very far at all from the mothertree. Getting all staunch & confrontational just ups his ante, and you get nowhere extremely quickly. Better to steer, suggest, distract & (gasp) lead by example. Brae is teaching me the right way to get him to respond, and you need large doses of humour, patience and an eye ever on the long term picture.

Using these strange new methods means that his tantrums are almost a rarity these days (for him, anyway!), and I haven't been headbutted or bitten in about a month. He even says "Ta" now when receiving an item; although sometimes he forgets if he's in a big hurry to get hold of said item.

One of the things that I've learned to insist upon (in my new & improved laid back manner) is gentleness and awareness of other people's boundaries & feelings. With me so far? Okay. Scroll forward to other day at PlayCentre when a bigger boy (probably about 3?) was roustering around the babies, and being generally too energetic & clumsy with his big shoes and their tiny fingers. After too many close calls, I lost my reserve when he started barging into the smaller kids deliberately, and knocking their toys away. His darling but incredibly PC (and I don't mean "PC = PlayCentre, LOL) Mum was right there, but was leading the kids in a big fun dance, so couldn't be expected - I suppose - to see everything & everyone. In hindsight, I guess I should have directed my comment via his Mum, but it just slipped out...

"Gently", I admonished with a smile. "Be nice to the babies please."

Well! The LOOK that child threw me stopped me in my tracks. A really HORRIBLE stare of "and YOU can get f*****d!!", and no two ways about it.

He just carried on (after trying to vapourise my eyeballs), but admittedly he did move over a bit and was less of a hazard to the wee ones.

I was left with a feeling of "Whaaat!??".. and realised I was lucky to get away with it.

Then not five minutes later I heard another Mum remonstrate with MY CHILD and take the toy he snatched off her tot, and return it.

Now I KNOW she was absolutely right, and if I'd been closer, I'd have beaten her to it.

But knowing she was right meant nothing. For a snap instant the mother bear in me reared up in fury (How DARE you censure MY BABY!!!!) and was only just quelled in time before I made a right prat of myself.

And I also realised in that instant that had she made eye contact with me, she also would have received a nasty glare just like the one I'd been treated to.

(I resolved to try to memorise those two lessons, before I peeve-off the nice ladies at PlayCentre.)

Then later that day...

I was at the supermarket with a very thirsty young man. I'd forgotten to take his sippycup with us, and it was a hot day. Nothing for it but to find the lowest-sugar fruit drink in a container somewhat suitable for a toddler, and have the nice cashier run it through the bar coder first so that Brae could sit drinking while the rest of the groceries rode the conveyor belt of doom.

Now you know how my kid dribbles, right? He's cutting his 4th molar at the mo, so you could irrigate whole paddocks just by wringing out his bibs. Thing is, when a dribbler drinks an orange drink, the dribbles can be seen when they plop to the floor.

A cashier at the next counter scolded me for my messy baby, and made a big fuss about wiping up those few splots. She was quite officious about it.

Mother bear started to snarl internally ... but somehow I kept my cool by responding "Very sorry, babies dribble sometimes. Good thing it's from his mouth, eh!" and muttering under my breath "easy to see someone isn't a mother!"

And on the way out, I snared a supervisor and suggested that she explain to the staff member about kids & predictable messes, and how it's not good business to encourage shoppers to buy elsewhere.

Felt bad about that.. but I'd have felt worse if I'd let her away with it. The ex-retail-slave within insisted, I'm afraid.

Told you I was a hypocrite :-) It's all my kid's fault!