Week 11, Day 5 (of bellies and blowouts)

I am sooo looking forward to bidding farewell to the first trimester in nine sleeps! One of the usual predictions I hope will prove true is that the all-day-blurgh will become a memory that sweetens with distance. In particular, the stomach's relentless pursuit of an out of body experience (taking my dinner with it).

There are times when TV seems to conspire with my nausea to up the ante into the truly bizarre. Like the other night..

Most of the time I can push through the yuck barrier to make myself eat at least half of what I should be, but Sunday night wasn't one of them. We sat down to our usual dinner on the knee, tuned into Sky TV (that's the NZ equivalent of cable) and I chose the documentary channels. As I took my first reluctant mouthful, I realised the documentary we were watching was all about the less than savoury aspects of urban rats. Now I quite like domestic rats, and even had some as a pet once (to the horror of my long suffering mother), but that night I could not deal with the filthier details that the documentary wished to focus on.

I fumbled for the remote, and changed to the History Channel; "High Hitler", ahh that might be less revolting, perhaps. (Yes yes, what was I thinking..) I was still struggling with that first mouthful as we tuned in in time to hear that Hitler dealt with constipation by taking pills that contained the processed faeces of Bulgarian peasants.

Yer kidding me....? You know, I think I could have managed to live my entire life without learning that particular snippet of information. I goggled at Wayne, he boggled back at me, and we simultaneously got the joke of bad timing and collapsed with mixed revulsion and laughter. Somehow I think I'd have been better off dealing with rat poo!

One day I would like to see a documentary entitled "What were they THINKING when they discovered ....?" Take the above "fact". How did he or his doctor come up with the idea to try peasant poo as a cure? And why Bulgarian peasants? Was a scientific study conducted to determine which peasants had the most beneficial poo? How exactly was this harvested? And perhaps more importantly, why on earth did we need to know about this?

As if we needed more proof that the guy was an utter nutter.

Speaking of weird goings-on, I think I might have had a craving today. We were late getting around to lunch, and ended up grocery shopping beforehand. I had a firm wish to sink my teeth into something containing cinnamon (can usually take or leave the stuff), and the only thing in the supermarket that contained this and was ready to eat were some cream filled donuts in the dairy section. I put them in the cart, and was immediately criticised out loud by a husband on a death wish. I picked up the packet, shoved them at his face and growled "Do you want to *&#%ing wear these? I mean it - do you want to WEAR these?" He blinked hard at me, which gave me time to calm down a notch, step up beside him (give him credit for bravery.. he didn't flinch) and murmur "I am not an idiot, I know these are not exactly health food, but you are not my parent and I don't need you to criticise me out loud in a supermarket with people in earshot."

Give the boy more credit, he immediately got the message and apologised for being an insensitive turd.

Damn donuts tasted like crap when we got home, so into the pig bucket they went. C'est la blurgh..