I need a warning label

"Caution: Distracted Mother at large!"

Or just a big neon Post-It Note stuck on the end of my nose reminding me to do a basic check after feeding the baby when out and about.

I wondered why I got some funny looks (and some loooooong sideways glances from men) when I zipped in to the supermarket yesterday to pick up a few things. I'd just fed bubs, and left him crowing at his father in the car, full of gas and giggles.

It wasn't til I returned to the car that I noticed (at the same moment Wayne did) that the only buttons done up on my shirt were the ones at the neck. Thank goodness that for once I'd remembered to do up the bra! I probably had the motherhood badge of honour (spew spot on the shoulder) but years of parrot parenthood have pretty much guaranteed I'm used to white bits on shirts.

Ya gotta laugh, I suppose. I hope that old guy in the frozen section was kept warm by the sight of a loaded boob flashing on by.

Yesterday was my first day back at clients post-baby, and it all went rather well. Wayne was packed off to his mother's for an hour or so, with the instruction of "pay attention, and learn her secrets! Oh yeah, and have fun!"

When he picked me up he was still chuckling about his mother's reaction to Braeden's customary melt down when asked to burp between bottles. Apparently she looked him firmly in the face, and said "Stop that! You are not the only horse in the stable!"

And magically, stop he did! (little bugger.. grrr!)

He gave up every burp easily and dryly, and didn't throw a single wobbly at anyone at any point.

When Wayne asked her how the hell she pulled that one off, she adroitly replied "You just have to say it like you mean it."

So last night Wayne tried the same trick, and was astonished when his son just roared louder. Hmmm.. methinks we have to work on the authority air a bit more.

Right now Wayne's camped out on the bed with the fan going, amusing a hot cranky kid who hasn't slept all day (it's 5.45pm). I did the first shift, now it's Dad's turn. I'm supposed to be whizzing around like some domestic goddess (ROTFLOLPRDML!) cleaning and cooking in preparation for #1 Grandma's 80th birthday tomorrow.

(All together now, "Happy Birthday, Margaret!")

Wayne's done the vaccuuming (and it didn't get baby off to sleep, despite it working for OTHER PEOPLE'S BABIES!), and I'll flounce about with a dust cloth and a saucepan later.

Around 3am when Braeden's having his night feed sounds about right ;-)

Btw, last night was a trip. Bubs went off to sleep at 8.30, and slept right through until 4.15 when he roared into wakefulness, damn furious that he'd missed an entire feed.

He was so pissed he didn't have his usual 75 mls of formula, oh no! He avidly consumed 200 mls, then a boob for good measure. His dreadful mother then proclaimed "That's enough thank you" and burped him once more, then popped him back into bed and turned out the light.

No "pat pat soothe soothe wait for baby to go to sleep", HELL no!

It worked rather well.. which means it will probably never work again but I'll be a bugger for punishment and try it on again tonight.

Btw, Braeden woke at around 8am, and for once lay in his cot playing with his feet and gurgling happily until his mother finally collected him around 8.40 and popped him into bed with her. By the time Dad woke at 9ish, baby was fed and exchanging compliments with his happy Mum.

Oh yeah .. another funny to close on. Yesterday Wayne popped into a nursing home to show a dear elderly friend our baby, but of course Mrs C was fast asleep as is her usual state of being. The nurses and residents thoroughly enjoyed a visit from the cute baby however, so the trip was far from wasted.

Naturally the usual questions abounded:
Look at all that hair!
What's his name?
How old is he? (etc)

When Wayne stated "He's eight weeks and two days old", one sober-sided nurse was heard to remark in a less than charitable way "There's no WAY that's an eight week old baby!"

Sorry luv, but I think the dad would somehow know. He was there, after all ;-)

I hear a lot of happy vocalising coming from the sproglet, so I'm going to have to be in on this. After all, the rate this kid is growing up, he'll be enrolling to vote in another week or so!