Week 23, Day 5 (Hear me out)

I snuggled up with Kaz's wonderful books last night and did some revision on what to expect over the next few weeks. When I got to the bit where "Hermione" was snoring like a demented tractor, I remembered something that happened a few nights before and it sent me into fits of giggles. Then a mate rang up in the middle of my gigglestorm and I had to explain through the titters what was so damn funny.

Here's hoping it translates well to print (how good are you at reading sound effects?)

Scene: Bed, not long after midnight. Me lying on my left side facing Wayne, who was lying on his right side facing me. Didn't realise I'd drifted off to sleep (thought no time had passed at all, really) and felt the urge to let go a botty burp.

What a cheek rattler! Nothing for it but to mumble a soft "oops sorry" and feel a little foolish apologising to a sleeping partner and two cats.

From Wayne's half of the bed came a surprised "Oh! You ARE awake then?"

"Hmmmphhhfff....???"

"Well judging by the noise you were making for the last half hour, I was about to wake you up to see if you're okay."

"whatnoise..?"

Whereupon he launched into the most amazing series of cartoon snores, complete with whistles on the intake, lip-flapping slap noises on the outtake, and between in and out was a snore that could loosen tooth fillings at forty paces. (zeeep, HRRRRRROOOORGH, flapflapflapflap, zeep HRRRROOOORGGGHH, flapflapflapflap).

You'd think an asthmatic donkey was lurking under the duvet.

Such criticism (amused tho it may have been) coming from the man whose snoring could enter the world record books was mind boggling. I'm used to his snoring and don't usually mind it at all, but others who are unexpectedly exposed to it tend to take a more drastic view.

Years ago when Wayne used to be on the team from Canterbury University to periodically visit the campus grounds at Westport, his workmates weren't just content with making him sleep in a distant room in the dorm. Oh no. They made him sleep in another dormitory altogether!

That apparently didn't do the trick, because after a while they stopped including him on the team, and it wouldn't have been any fault of his clever gardening skills.

But like I said, I don't mind his snoring. As I read somewhere once, it's the sound a widow misses the most.

If anyone asks me what they can buy the baby as a present, I should say "eensy weensy industrial strength earmuffs". Poor little blighter!

Btw, I think 'Nathan' is out. It had a week to catch on, but failed to impress. Wayne came up with a good one last night though : Braeden.

I like that :-)