Shock Horror! Awful unfeeling mother gets firm on bedtimes!

I'm pleased to report that Braeden is getting much better at keeping his food down. He still spills, but nothing near as poorly as before. We haven't given him any Gaviscon in about a week now, which is particularly helpful as he's now on solids and I didn't want the medicine making for any sore tummies when he's trying to adjust to a new diet.

A major change is that he no longer projectile vomits when he's allowed to cry a little, which of course means I can get a bit firmer about the cot being used for it's rightful purpose.

On Monday after the Plunket nurse's visit, I popped baby into his bed when he gave me his usual tired signs. He fussed, cried, and went into full melt down no less than seven times. Each time he got too upset (or I felt he needed reassurance) I picked him up, cuddled and crooned, and once he calmed down he was laid back down with a loving kiss.

Of course he reacted each time with an immediate renewal of outrage, but I kept going.

Almost to the minute an hour later, he fell asleep and slept very soundly for three hours.

Since then I've asked him to have one sleep in the morning and one at night. Proper sleeps.

He still fights it gum and nail (no teeth yet), and as Wayne pointed out, this kid will achieve anything he sets his mind to when he grows up because his willpower is incredibly strong! Sometimes he goes down with a minimum of fight (20 mins), sometimes it's longer. This morning's battle lasted from 8am until 9.20am, probably in part due to his daily poo still being on board. Some gripe water and a bit more soothing and now he's finally settled with very bad graces into an unavoidable sleep. Even if he gets an hour in, I'll be satisfied. (Prefer 3, but at the moment we're establishing the pattern and fine tuning can come later.)

It still "kills" me to see him upset, but I know we're bound to have the battle of the bedtime sooner or later, and it's probably better for all if we make it sooner. Not for anything could I leave the room and let him cry it out! I stand there patting, stroking and gazing down with love and reassurance, often whispering "It's okay baby, Mum's here and it's okay to go to sleep. Goooood boy, that's my lovely boy."

What Braeden says in reply roughly translated is "You rotten bitch, pick me up! How COULD you put me to bed? I thought you loved me! Can't you see how miserable I am? All I want to do is be in your arms! Pick me up and get me out of here because I'm heartbroken that you could be so mean!"

This application of parental firmness has its benefits and drawbacks. The benefits include some precious time off for the mother, and a better sleeping pattern at night. The drawbacks are that he looks at me with such heartbreak and unhappiness in his tear filled eyes, and when he's awake, he's a bit less cuddly to me than he usually is.

Braeden is bearing a grudge, that's for sure.

But another benefit is that when he's awake, he's much more settled and will actually allow himself to play happily by himself for longer sessions each day, rather than expecting to be wearable art (ie permanently carried by his parents).

Given that kidlet is now 13 and a half pounds in weight (6.15 kilos!), that's a hell of a lump to lug around.

Btw, I read in an article that how a baby falls asleep, is how they expect to wake up. If the situation is unchanged, they can more easily self-settle without parental input. This explained why when Braeden fell asleep at the breast in the lounge, he became very disoriented and unwelcomely surprised to find himself breastless and in his own bed some time later.

Such was the power of this logic that I've even applied it to the dummy. (Not counting today.. I had to relent today otherwise I'd still be in there, ears bleeding.)

And it works! Most times now when Braeden wakes up (usually from bopping himself in the face with a flying fist), he can re-settle himself quite well, unless of course there's something he can't fix (wet nap, dog barking, etc). But the old way meant he almost never self-settled!


Hey.. get a load of this photo. At first glance you perhaps thought it was another of Braeden, but actually it's his mother and grandmother when I was one month old. Spooky, eh!